Letter 151

(151) ON BEING THE MASTER

22nd October, 1947

Bhagavan’s body has become much reduced of late and some of the devotees have been saying that it is due to his not taking enough of nourishing food. Having heard this a Bengali lady brought some pieces of guava sprinkled with salt and chilly powder, and said beseechingly, “Bhagavan, you are getting very thin; it is good to eat fruit like this. Please accept
my humble offering.”
Bhagavan said with a smile, “Who is it that is thinner?
You or I?”
She said it was Bhagavan.

Bhagavan: “That is nice. Who exactly has grown thin will be known if the weight is taken. If you like, you may eat those fruits every day yourself. Why this for me? It is all right; you have brought them to day, but please do not bring them again.” So saying, Bhagavan took a few pieces and said to his attendants, “See how lean she is! Please give her several
of these pieces and distribute the rest to the others.”

One of those who could venture to talk to Bhagavan more freely said, “Bhagavan, you have recently very much reduced the amount of food you take daily. It’s not good.”
“Oho!” said Bhagavan. “Who told you that? I am taking whatever I require. What good would there be in my taking more food and getting fat? By getting fat, do you know how
many ailments one suffers? The more you eat, the greater will grow the strength of the ailment. If you eat just what is necessary, ailments will be avoided.”

“Why have you given up taking even pepper-water and buttermilk?” said another devotee.

“You enquire why?” said Bhagavan. “If you observe what is being done when the meals are served, you yourself will understand. Buttermilk is brought into the dining hall in big
buckets with large ladles. When taking out the buttermilk for serving me, the ladle is full, but when the same is served to the very next person, the ladle is only half full. When I saw
that, I got disgusted and felt that I myself should not take any more than half a ladleful.”

“Why not at least take fruit juice?” said the devotee.

“So this has started again!” said Bhagavan. “Everyone says the same thing. How will all that be possible for me?”
“What do you mean, Bhagavan? We get quite a lot of fruit. Why say that it is impossible? You yourself have stated that what is offered voluntarily can be accepted.”
“So that is it!” said Bhagavan. “If I did say that such offerings could be accepted, did that mean that the people around could be ignored?”
“True,” said the devotee, “but quite a lot of fruit is received; it can be distributed to the others too.”
“All is very well,” said Bhagavan, “but where have we the wherewithal to give them all? The fruit is shown here to the Swami as an offering, a naivedya, and then taken away. It is kept locked in the store room. The keys are in the charge of the store-keeper. Who will go and ask him? In the same way, the various articles here are in the custody of someone or other; I have none. This is the result of being a spiritual preceptor!” said Bhagavan smiling.

It seems that some fifteen days back, someone brought some green pepper. Bhagavan had that pepper, some myrobalams, acetic acid, salt and other ingredients mixed, ground and made into little pills. Today Sivanandan came in to enquire whether he could get the pills for Bhagavan, as
they are supposed to be good against phlegm and Bhagavan had been using them now and then during the cold weather.

As Sivanandan had not enquired about them all these fifteen days and is doing it only now, Bhagavan said with a laugh, “I see, you have now remembered about them. Yes, yes, you have been waiting to see whether I would ask for them, and thereby test me. Were I to ask, you would say, ‘What is this? Swami has begun to ask about everything and is worrying us’. What am I to do? They feel that if they but salute me once, I should thereafter do everything they want. People say that spiritual preceptorship (swamitvam), is a matter for happiness. But see, this is what it is to be a spiritual preceptor.

Would it not be good if a book is written on spiritual preceptorship?”
“Bhagavan is saying something unusual,” said a devotee.

Bhagavan replying with a smile, said, “What is there unusual about it? It is all true. ‘Swami is seated on a sofa with a soft mattress spread on it. What is there for him to worry about?’ That is what people think. But do they know about our troubles? That is why I say that it would be good for a big book to be written on spiritual preceptorship. If all the things that have happened here during the last years had been written in the form of a book, it would be as big as the Mahabharatham! Anyone who cares to write it, may do so even now!” he said.

“Who would write all that?” said a devotee.

“Why not?” said Bhagavan. “If a book recording these events is written, all people will then know that spiritual preceptorship consists in saying, ‘Yes, yes,’ and ‘All right, all
right’. What is the difficulty in writing about it?”

So saying, Bhagavan looked at me and with a laugh said, “Why? If you like, you can write it!”

Letter 150

(150) SIMPLE LIVING

18th October, 1947

Recently, owing to some maladjustment in diet, Bhagavan’s health has been somewhat indifferent. Noticing this, a rich devotee, by name Kamala Rani, sent a soup made of costly vegetables and sweet grapes to the Ashram one morning, with a request that it might be served to Bhagavan.

As it was received just as Bhagavan was about to take his food, Bhagavan accepted it.

Next day, she again prepared it in the same way and sent it to the Ashram. But this time, looking at his attendants, Bhagavan said, “Why this daily? Please tell her not to send it henceforth.”

The lady, however, sent it the following day too.

“There!” said Bhagavan, “It has come again. She will not stop sending it. I should have said ‘No’ at the very beginning. It was my mistake to have accepted it.”
A devotee said, “At present, Bhagavan is much run down.

She is perhaps sending it because a liquid preparation with grapes might be good for Bhagavan’s health.”
“Oho!” Bhagavan exclaimed, “Is that so? And have you authority to plead on her behalf?”
“That is not it, Bhagavan. I am saying so because I thought that such preparations might be good for the health.”
“May be so,” rejoined Bhagavan, “but such things are for rich people, not for us.”
“That devotee says that she herself will prepare it and send it,” persisted the devotee.

“That is all right,” replied Bhagavan, “and if so, please find out if she could supply the same thing for all the people who sit here.”
“Why to all people?” asked the devotee.

“Then why to me alone?” said Bhagavan.

“It is possible to do it, if it is for Bhagavan alone, but would it be possible to prepare the same costly food for everyone?” said the devotee.

“Yes, that is just it,” said Bhagavan, “everyone says the same thing, ‘We will do it for Bhagavan alone’. Yet, if it is good for Bhagavan, is it not good for all others? If, with the amount spent on this preparation, broken rice were brought and rice-gruel (kanji) prepared, a hundred people could partake of it. Why this expensive preparation for me alone?”

“Our anxiety is that Bhagavan’s body should be healthy.”
“That is all right,” Bhagavan rejoined, “but do you mean to say that health could be maintained only if soup prepared from grapes and costly vegetables is taken? If it were so, then rich people should all be enjoying good health. Why is it then that they are more unhealthy and sickly than the others? The satisfaction that poor people get by taking sour rice-gruel cannot be had from anything else. In olden days, when we were doing the cooking during summer, we used to have a pot into which we put all the cooked rice left over, fill it up with water, a little buttermilk, a little rice-gruel, dry ginger and lemon leaves, and set it aside. It would get sour, cool and clear. The liquid used to be drunk with a pinch of salt by all of us by the tumblerful, and we used to feel very happy. No one had any illness whatsoever. Even now, if I were to drink two tumblerfuls of such water, all my ailments would disappear. But then
nobody prepares it for me.

‘Aye! Aye! How could we give sour milk gruel to Swami?’ they say. What is to be done? To prepare soup of this sort will cost a rupee. If, with that money, millet (ragi) were brought and ground into flour, it would last for about a month for preparing gruel from it which is very healthy and nutritive. The amount spent on a single meal could be utilized for the living of a person for a month. I took all those things while I was on the hill and I used to be very satisfied. Now, who will do that? Grape
juice, tomato soup and the like are offered to me. Why do I require such things? Tell her not to send the soup from tomorrow.”

The thing stopped there. Bhagavan told us several times that while he was living on the hill he was eating bilva fruit (a sort of wood-apple) for some days and sustaining himself on it.

Bhagavan does not like to eat any food without sharing it with the people around him.

Letter 149

(149) BRINDAVANAM
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28th September, 1947

This morning, a North Indian wrote the following on a slip of paper and handed it over to Bhagavan.

“If I could have audience (darshan) of the real form (swarupa) of Lord Krishna in Brindavanam, would I find the strength to rid myself of all my troubles? I want to have audience with Him to tell Him all my troubles.”

Bhagavan replied, “Yes, what is the difficulty? It can be done all right. After seeing Him, all our burdens will be transferred to Him. Even now, why worry about it? Throw all the burden on Him and He will see to it.”

The questioner: “If I want to see the real form of Lord Krishna, do I have to go to Brindavanam and meditate, or could it be done anywhere?”


Bhagavan: “One should realize one’s own Self and when that is done, Brindavanam is wherever one is. There is no need to go from place to place thinking that Brindavanam is somewhere else. Those who have the urge to go, may go, but there is nothing imperative about it.

Arjuna, I am the Self seated in the hearts of all beings. I am the beginning, the middle and also the end of all beings.

-- Bhagavad Gita, X: 20

“Where one is, there is Brindavanam. If one enquires as to who one is and what one is, and finds out the truth, one becomes oneself. To resolve all inherent desires into one’s own Self is real surrender. After that, our burden is His.”

A priest, one Sastri, who was present, enquired, “It is said in the Bhagavad Gita, XIII: 10 ‘Vivikta desa sevitvam aratir janasamsadi’. What is meant by ‘vivikta desa’?”

Bhagavan replied, “‘vivikta desa’ is that where there is nothing but the Supreme Self, the Paramatma. ‘aratir janasamsadi’ means to remain without getting mixed up with, or absorbed by the five senses (vishayas). It is these five senses that rule the majority of people. ‘Vivikta desa’ is that state in which they are in abeyance.”

The questioner said, “The ‘vivikta desa’ state to which Bhagavan refers is, I take it, the state of intuitive experience (aparoksha), and if so, that state of intuitive experience can only be attained if one follows the precepts, i.e., does sadhana, for keeping the senses in abeyance. Is that right?”

“Yes, that is so,” replied Bhagavan. “In the Vasudeva Mananam and in other books, it is stated that one has to gain conceptual realization (paroksha jnana) with the help of a Guru by the act of hearing (sravana) and musing (manana), and then gain knowledge of ‘intuitive experience (aparoksha)’ by spiritual practice, and by consequent complete maturity of the mind. It is stated in the Vicharasagara: ‘Intuitive experience (aparoksha) is always present; the only obstacle is conceptual knowledge (paroksha)’.

Spiritual practice (sadhana) is required to remove the obstacle; there is no question of attaining intuitive experience. It is all the same — hearing and the like, are necessary whether it is to know the intuitive, or to remove the obstacles. Those who are able to overcome the three-faced obstacles are likened to the naked light in a windless place, or to the ocean in a waveless state; both are true. When one feels the Self within one’s body, it is like the naked light in a windless place; when one feels that the Self is all-pervading, it is like the waveless ocean.”

Letter 148

(148) BONDAGES
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26th September, 1947
A devotee who had been listening to all that Bhagavan had said yesterday morning about past bondages, came and sat near Bhagavan today.

The devotee spoke: “Yesterday, Bhagavan was pleased to tell us about past bondages, but he did not tell us anything about present and future bondages.” “That is so,” said Bhagavan, “but then has not Sri Vidyaranya, in his Panchadasi explained in detail about future bondages and the way in which deliverance from them can be had?” “I have not read the Panchadasi,” said the devotee.

“Then I will tell you,” said Bhagavan, and proceeded to expound it: “Present bondages are said to be of four types — ‘vishaya asakti lakshanam’, ‘buddhi mandyam’, ‘kutharkam’ and ‘viparyaya duragraham’. The first of these means great desire for material things; the second, inability to grasp the teachings and expositions of the Guru; the third means to understand perversely the teachings of the Guru; the fourth is to feel egoistically that ‘I am learned in the Vedas’, ‘I am a Pandit’, ‘I am an ascetic’. These four are called present bondages. If it is asked how these can be overcome, the first can be overcome by tranquillity (sama), by curbing the evil propensities of the mind (dama), by detachment (uparati) and by indifference to external things (titiksha). The second type can be overcome by hearing the teachings of the Guru over and over again; the third by reflection or contemplation; and the fourth by profound meditation on a thought. If, in this way, the obstacles are removed and destroyed, seekers get confirmed in their belief that they are themselves the embodiment of the Self (atma-swarupa).

“As for future bondages, they arise from acts done without anyone knowing they are sinful. How can this be discovered? A seeker should recognize it as a future bondage when some action presents itself which makes him feel that he wishes to do it because the doing of it is an act of human kindness and sympathy; and so he is tempted into doing it. He does not realise that the act will be the cause of future bondage. If he thinks that, by being a non-doer (akarta) and worldly-detached (asanga), the fulfilment of the desire will not affect him and he can therefore do the act, he will become bound all the same and will be freed from the bondage only after several more births. That future bondages result in re-births is authoritatively stated in the Scriptures (srutis and smritis).

Vasudeva, for instance, had one more birth, Bharata had two more, and others many more. Hence a seeker must bear in mind the three bondages and carefully avoid them. If he does not avoid them there can be no doubt that he will have more births. ‘Whosoever is released from these three bondages, for him deliverance (mukti) is certain,’ said Vidyaranya. All this is mentioned also in the Vasudeva Mananam in which, in addition to this, a number of stories are related. The story of Bharjuva and that of Yajnapasu are particularly interesting, as also that of Asura Vasana. For each aspect of these bondages, a separate story is given by way of illustration. Have you not read even that?” “I did read it when young but did not realise that it contains such important matters. I will look into it again, Bhagavan.” With that, the devotee took his leave of Bhagavan.

Letter 147

(147) THE OMNIPRESENT
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25th September, 1947
Bhagavan was reading something from a Malayalam book yesterday afternoon. Someone nearby enquired whether it was the Vasishtam, and Bhagavan replied in the affirmative. A Pandit who was there began discussing the stories in the Vasishtam, and said, “Swami, there will be several bondages for the attainment of realization, will there not?” Bhagavan, who was reclining on the sofa, sat up and said, “Yes, that is so. They are the bondages of the past, the future and the present.” “Of past bondages there is a story in the Upanishads and also in the Vasudeva Mananam. A brahmin with a large family acquired a she-buffalo and, by selling milk, curds, ghee, etc., he maintained his family. He was fully occupied the whole day with obtaining fodder, green grass, cotton seed, etc. for the buffalo and in feeding her. His wife and children passed away, one after the other. He then concentrated all his love and affection on the buffalo, but, after a time, the buffalo too passed away. Being thus left alone and disgusted with family life, he took to sannyasa, renouncing the world, and began practising prayer and meditation at the feet of a Holy Teacher (Sadguru).

“After some days, the Guru called him and said, ‘You have been doing spiritual practices (sadhana) for several days now. Have you found any benefit from them?’ The brahmin then related the above story of his life, and said, ‘Swami, at that time I used to love the buffalo mostly because it was the mainstay of my family. Though it passed away long ago, yet when I am deeply engrossed in meditation, it always appears in my thoughts. What am I to do?’ The Guru, realizing that it was a past bondage, said, ‘My dear friend, the Brahman is said to be ‘asti, bhati and priyam’. Asti means omnipresent; bhati means lustre; priyam means love.

That buffalo, being an object of your love, it also is the Brahman. It has a name and a form; so what you should do is to give up your own name and form as well as those of the buffalo. If that is done, what remains is the Brahman itself. Therefore, give up names and forms and meditate.’ “The brahmin then meditated, giving up both of them, and attained realization (jnana). Name and form are past bondages. The fact is, that which IS, is only one. It is omnipresent and universal. We say ‘here is a table’, ‘there is a bird’, or ‘there is a man’. There is thus a difference in name and form only, but That which IS, is present everywhere and at all times. That is what is known as asti, omnipresent. To say that a thing is existent, there must be someone to see — a Seer. That intelligence to see is known as bhati. There must be someone to say, ‘I see it, I hear it, I want it’. That is priyam. All these three are the attributes of nature — the natural Self. They are also called existence consciousness, bliss (sat-chit-ananda).” Another devotee queried, “If priyam (Love), is a natural attribute, it should be existent no matter what the object may be. Why then is it not existent when we see a tiger or a snake?” Bhagavan replied, “We ourselves may not have any love for them, but every species has love towards its own kind, hasn’t it? A tiger loves a tiger, and a snake a snake. So also a thief loves a thief and a debauchee a debauchee. Thus, love is always existent. There is a picture presented to you on a screen. That screen is asti, omnipresent, and the light that shows the pictures is bhati and priyam, lustre and love.

The pictures with names and forms come and go. If one is not deluded by them and discards them, the canvas screen, which has been there all through, remains as it is. We see pictures on the screen with the help of a small light in an atmosphere of darkness; if that darkness be dispelled by a big light, can the pictures be visible? The whole place becomes luminous and lustrous. If, in the same way, you see the world with the small light called mind, you find it full of different colours. But if you see it with the big light known as Self-realization (atma-jnana), you will find that it is one continuous universal light and nothing else.”